Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you were able to enjoy a spa day! Aren't they wonderful?!! Also happy that D had lots of fun!
Unfortunately I worked then went to the spa for one of those not so fun treatments...
H came over last night, this is the first real time D and I have seen him since Sunday. He was pleasant but there was a lot of akward silence. His grandmother's 89 birthday party,"because hey you never know" is this afternoon, he is coming to pick us up to go. I really like his grandma, she is a pretty cool lady for 89. His mother had already planned what she was going to tell her if he did not show up. I swear I thought she was the most private woman, I tell her about our issues and she is now the town crier. I made it through the couple of hours H was here with only one small word of R talk. He had said Thursday he would "probably" be coming back home by Sunday. So I asked something about whether there was gas in the lawnmower and he said no but there are 3 containers in the garage. SO I asked why when he was so desperate for gas he didn;t use some of that. Well you need it to run the generator in case the power goes out. I said well I'd be screwed anyways because I don't know how to start it, but what are the chances it is going to go out in the next 2 days. He looks at me and says I said probably...dont start.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
SO when I mentioned last night that I was thinking of cutting the grass today, I go you'll never be able to start the mower. WEll front and back is cut weed-eated I took the rocks out of the garden ad got all the grass out from under them, cut my ornamental grass down to the ground and started a fire to get rid of all the hay that came from it. And it is only 11:15.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Us guys like to make things out to be more complicated than they really are. Once when my job promotion required me to be up north while my wife stayed here with the kids for a few months, trying to sell the house, she learned to mow, edge, and put up the Christmas lights.
I had made every one of those things out to be rocket science.
Us guys like to make things out to be more complicated than they really are. Once when my job promotion required me to be up north while my wife stayed here with the kids for a few months, trying to sell the house, she learned to mow, edge, and put up the Christmas lights.
I had made every one of those things out to be rocket science.
Puppy
Hey, putting up the Christmas lights can be tough! Ours usually get so tangled a rocket science degree might help!!! Karen
Went to grandmas birthday, H came here after work, showered, got ready and we all went together, things seemed very normal except for he had to leave when we got home. He bent down and gave me a peck on the lips before he left and asked if I wanted him to go get me a tea. I think that is the first time he has had any physical contact with me since he moved out. He noticed the grass was cut and asked if I had a hard time with the mower - nope not at all.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
People are odd, and for whatever reason this is cracking me up more than upsetting me. One of my H's friends called here last night, he has been leaving messages that no one is returning. Well I answered and told him that H wasn't home he could call him on his cell. He continued on, aerating the lawn, is he going golfing tomorrow ect. Finally I said, he has not lived here in 2 weeks call him on his cell. So he said oh I'm sorry and got off the off the phone. (as a background this guy cheated on his wife with the sitter and lost everything)
Shortly after H texted me to say what did you say to W he just left a message that he wants to take you out on a date. I thought it was my H's typical junk said whatever, I told him nothing you don't live here call your cell. Thought nothing of it.
My girlfriend calls this morning and says do you want to hear something funny? W called here last night and says well I talked to Neecy and now I know what is going on, and you know what I did?
I left H a message on his phone that said I heard you moved out and I was wondering if you would mind if I took Neecy out to dinner? How does that make you feel? Like Sh*t? If it does go get some flowers and get your A*s home before you lose everything.
I don't think any of this kind of stuff will help my sitch but it keep things interesting.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I left H a message on his phone that said I heard you moved out and I was wondering if you would mind if I took Neecy out to dinner? How does that make you feel? Like Sh*t? If it does go get some flowers and get your A*s home before you lose everything
WOW! WOW! WOW!
As long as you aren't intiating these things (people making remarks to H, etc), then you can't control them. I wouldn't mention them to H and if he brings them up, be casual about it and change the subject.
H spent the day here today, I left at one point to do groceries, he barbequed dinner, took out the trash and recycling(he didn;t do this for a few months prior to leaving). When he was leaving he made a comment about something(I don't remember what) when he got home. I kind of looked at him funny since I thought it was odd he called his friend's house home. Then he said, I will be back tomorrow night I just didn;t have a chance to pack all my things before I came here today....
Ok question is this. He wanted to move out to clear his head because we are having the same fight over and over again. Know it appears he is moving back. How do I lay down the law without starting the fight before he even steps a foot in the door? I want him to come back, but I want the rest to be over.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Then he said, I will be back tomorrow night I just didn;t have a chance to pack all my things before I came here today....
Is he saying that he's moving back home (to your house) today???
If that is so, how would laying out your boundaries start a fight? What would be the problem(s) for him?
Neecy, I believe it's all in how you choose your words. You shouldn't say anything like, "You cannot do this or that". It should be more like, "I will not be ok with this or that....These dealbreakers are not appropriate for me in any R, even more so in my M".
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Karen