I just wanted to know that I spent the past 90 minutes reading every single post on your thread, and catching up on your sitch. I awoke at 6am this morning, unable to sleep for some reason, and so I came on the board.
I was riveted to your sitch. We could be the same guy. I handled my wife's affair almost exactly as you are handling yours, except that I exposed to the people I mentioned in my post above. But the way I stepped up and became the best dad I could possibly be, while still showing love to my wife (primarily thru acts of kindness), no ILYs, etc -- it was eerily similar, like I was reading my own journal from last summer.
I too am a Christian.
This is going to sound hokey, but I believe that God awoke me this morning and directed me to your thread. Still not sure why, other than maybe just to encourage you, but I DO want to encourage you. You are obviously a man of faith and integrity, and your kids are lucky to have you. I think you're doing a wonderful job, under very trying circumstances. Until someone has gone thru what we've gone thru, I don't think they can possibly fully understand the burden we feel to provide for our family -- financially, spiritually, physically and emotionally -- while working on our own self-improvement all the while trying to shine a light for our wayward wife back towards our marriage.
It's exhausting, and I can feel in your posts days of alternate weariness and strength.
Be not weary in well-doing, H4H. I believe God is doing a work in your wife, and in your family, and in YOU. He will not leave you, and He will not rest until His work is accomplished in you. I don't know yet what that work will look like, but I do have a strong sense that you are on the path He wants you on.
I do also have a sense that it may be time for you to increase the pressure somewhat, and/or something may happen this week.
I also think you should see an attorney, and at least take steps to protect yourself -- nothing else. "There is wisdom in many counselors."
Be strong, and of good courage -- you're doing a great job, and -- I believe -- inspiring a lot of other people with your walk and battle.
Puppy
P.S. Last August, three months after I confronted my wife about her affair and her stubbornly refusing to end it, she finally left him, and tearfully begged me to take her back. She sent him a "we must never contact each other ever again" letter, changed her cellphone (to a new number with detailed billing which comes to me), and other than one relapse about two weeks later, has never contacted him again and has returned to our family. We still have our long-term (mostly SSM) issues, but the fog has lifted. What you are doing does work.
