SD I do agree it realy relates to a comfort level. This in itself as you say does not mean anything regarding the future.
Purr I have actualy given her a new pet name in the last few months ( "blondie" hardly original ) but she seems to like it and it started from me teasing her about some of her "blond" moments.
Here are some of the ups and downs
I was tired and feeling down the other night and in a moment of weakness , sent her a text telling her I was sad she was not here. I got no reply and it is extremely rare for her not to reply. I sort of took it as she realy doesnt know what to say.I know she doesnt want to hurt me so tends to avoid saying stuff that would.
The next day I was away at a track day about 2hrs away from home. Had a great day , the new brakes on the bike working well and I managed to stay upright , lots of very fast fun.
I get home and W's car is there , my car not. So once again W feels comfortable enough to borrow my car without asking. I realy didnt care I had had far to good a day. W returned with D a few minutes later , I was very cold from the ride so attemted to rub my cold nose on her neck grabed her arms as she tryed to get away and pulled her close , she was laughing so I guess that was OK fun.
W stayed for a takeaway dinner. I teased her a bit and she left sticking her tounge out and smiling.
While I was away a male friend of mine called around to see me and ran into W . It happens that his W is moving out and he was looking for a bit of support . W got the full story from him so I think it at least gives her a bit of an insight as to what the LBS is going through. When she was telling me about it she said that his W is just where she was and confused. Unfortunatley she did not say much else.
Tonight she drops around to pick up D and is still around later in the afternoon , then asks what are you making me for dinner ?
BUT I am finding this quite hard , she is here and its all great but then she is gone and the reality is still here. I still go to bed alone , she comes on her own terms and has limited interest in my life outside of that that has some direct impact on her. As strange as it may seem the better we get on the more I hurt about the loss.
Its like letting some one see and smell their favourite dinner then taking it away before they get to eat and doing it every few days.
I am considering something that could backfire but its a sort of LRT . I am thinking of telling W that this is hard on me and that I would like a period of limited contact , I will think about this over the next day or two and post more before I do anything.
