--I will not snoop. I will completely detach from what she may be doing or did before. --I will not pursue her, seem clingy or needy. --I will not judge her but support her. I WILL NOT GET INVOLVED IN ARGUMENTS! --I will casually(!) and HONESTLY compliment W 3 times a day --I will try to spend time with W every day to tell her about my day and ask her about hers. --I will try to think of a spectacular 180... --I will consciously decide every day to love her unconditionally - no matter what.
And here is my assessment: --I did not snoop at all, although I did read over my w's shoulder while she was at the computer, she was furious. --I don't tell her ILY or kiss her anymore, but it is very difficult not to pursue, and I think I slipped up a few times. I need to be more detached from her (DAMN I LOVE HER TOO MUCH!) --I got involved in arguments but I am seeing a therapist now. I did make a snide remark or two, my reptilian brian just LOVES to highjack me. Got to work on that, I think I'll do it by stopping negative thoughts and thinking positive things. The problem is the little reptilian bugger is a sneak, and he jumps from behind things and surprises me. --I complemented her HONESTLY every day, but then she was very sarcastic about a compliment, so I think I will have to stop it. The problem is it is very difficult to keep quiet when I am overcome by her beauty. --I spend as much time with her as possible and try to talk about things. It seems to have a positive effect in her attitude towards me. --I hope my consulting the therapist will result in a 180. The problem is I did 180's before which spun right round into 360's. --I do decide to love her unconditionally every day. The problem again is to keep the little reptilian bugger under control.
So my new goals are: --All of my old goals, but I scrap the one about complimenting her. I will now do it sparingly, not more that once a week. I will have to bite my tongue when I feel one coming up, though. It is not easy not to compliment such a fabulous creature. --GAL with more energy. I started ballroom dancing, but I don't really enjoy it because I want to dance with her only. I will make a point to enjoy it! I need to rejoin a Bible study. --Do more things around the house for her. I realise that recently I have not cooked and cleaned as often as before. --I need to spend more time with the kids, collectively and individually. I need to think of practical ways to do this. The difficult ones are S16 and S15. S16 blames me for the D, since I am the one that shouts and screams and breaks things. The little ones are easy, we watch videos together and they sit on my lap.
One example of the exquisite sneakiness of the little reptilian pirate in my head: I walk past my wife wile she is on the computer: She is on Facebook, writing to a male friend of hers who lives in our city. He is a real loser in materialistic terms: earns a pittance as a party clown and does not even own a car. Maybe he is a fantastic guy and some Mahatma Ghandi in his own right, I just don't see it. Anyway, he has been desperetaly trying to have an A with my W, he asks her about weekly for a physical meeting and writes her all these wonderful compliments and poems. So far she did not fall for him. I haven't snooped for some time now so I don't know what they are discussing now. Anyway, I walk past her and see this guy's face on the computer and say "There's one guy who desperately wants to screw you!" Bam! The ugly little reptile blindsided me. I did not even see him coming. He highjacked, grabbed control and bolted again. But the damage is done. It is like a big snake in the snake and ladders game that swallows you right down to the beginning again.
If anyone knows of an early reptile detection system, I'm in the market for one!
Me 43 W 42 M 1998 S16 S15 D7 D4 bomb 07/03/2007 OPA ILYBNILWY My Thread
