OK, if you're giving her until the end of May, you've got some changing to do yourself. Be nice, reach out but not too much. Just do nice things for her, for you, for your family. Step out of that box a little. Again, things that warm the heart, not the body. Yours and hers.
Now good luck on the smoking thing. You can do it! I quit years and years ago, it can be done.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09