Thank you everyone, for your valuable feedback. I really appreciate it.
As can be seen by the myriad of responses above ^ there is no clear-cut answer to this.
The whole dating thing, I will be very cautious, and will be extremely forthcoming and candid with anyone I go out with. I am not looking for a relationship at this time - I do realize that I am not emotionally available right now. I just want to occasionally go out with someone other than friends. Plus, I have no woman "friends" that I can hang with, so that isn't an option. That is, except for my assistant, who is 5'9", blonde, gorgeous and 26 years old....but that is just SICK!
Anyway, thanks again, I will take everything under advisement...
TODAY: - W called at 7:30am "I'm on my way" - Arrived at 8:00, we dropped her car where we were bringing the boat to, then continued to our marina in my Jeep - We left the marina, and had a SPECTACULAR cruise up the river for about an hour. It was warm, sunny, mirror smooth water and no wind. At one point she came over, sat beside me at the helm, and leaned her head on my shoulder. No words. I just put my arm around her and didn't say anything. That's how we stayed for the remainder of the cruise. - We arrived at the broker's marina, tied up, then we went back to my place in her car. - We each had a beer, then walked down the riverwalk to "our" pub. Nice chat along the way, enjoyed all the people that were out, and all the spring flowers. - Had a great lunch, sat in the sun on the patio. At least 3 times, she said "I miss this". But she didn't necessarily mean she missed it with me. - She asked me a number of times if/when/who I was going to date. I said I didn't know, I still haven't decided. - She told me she still has no romantic feelings for me, and it drives her crazy, because her logical mind tells her she should. She said that when she hooks up with someone, it will probably be someone just like me. "Great" I said, "that makes me feel awesome...NOT!" - She cried a lot, again. As we left, she broke down a bit and said "MM, I am SO SORRY for what I am doing...I am losing my friends, my husband, even my kids are avoiding me". I told her that she obviously feels she needs to do this, or else she wouldn't have done it, so stop being sorry...I just hope you end up happy. - We walked back, and we were exhausted from the early morning, moving the boat (emotional), sunshine, big meal and the beer. So she said let's take a nap. So we did, on our bed, and we slept for about an hour. - She drove me back to my Jeep, we hugged and kissed, then she said "I love you". I said "I love you too, drive carefully". - I went to a music store and lost myself in guitars and amplifiers, to drown out the feelings of pain. - 2 hours later I was driving home and she called me on my cell. She said she had called the apartment and I wasn't there, she was checking on my whereabouts (?). She said a song had come on, and she knew I loved it, and she decided to just call. She was all stuffed up, I could tell she'd been crying. - I told her to call anytime she wanted to talk, and she said "I will, and you too".
So that was my day. She cuddled with me, cried a LOT, and said ILY. But the door is definitely closing, this time from my side as well as hers.
One last thing: I do wonder if she is one of the women that start thinking differently when they realize they are about to lose the stability of the husband who was waiting for her to come back. Some of her actions and questions today were interesting. But I am not waiting any longer. I told her again today that I am still open to getting back together, but I am moving forward with my life. She just looked off into the distance and nodded.
I know her very well, and there is a lot going on in her head about "us" right now.
