Geez, Karen!!! He has not even met her. How can he say he doesn't like her?
He sounds so controlling. Is this C making so much of an impact on you, and your decisions, that H is jealous? Do you think he talked to the kids about what they talked to the C about and that set him off?
Why does he not want them to see her? They need help to get through this. He should at least talk to this C before deciding if she is good for them or not. I would stand up to him on this one! Why should this be his decision?
I'm throwing lots of questions at you just because I just don't get it! Maybe he wanted you to stay depressed, overweight, complacent, etc., but because you're not, because you've actually blossomed, it's just made him angry or jealous?
When's your next appointment? Perhaps you can talk to the C about this. In the meantime, I'd stop mentioning her to your H.
(((( HUGS ))))
Joie
Thanks, Joie! I will stop mentioning her although I think your advice is sound: I wish he would talk to her. I am wondering if he refuses to talk to her & give her a chance, my SIL was saying I could take them anyway b/c the kids and I are on the insurance plan as well (although H is the primary) and I think if she says they need it we might be able to do that. But I would hate to do that and cause more big fights between H and I. But looking into another therapist will take months always for an appt. so that is a shame.
Talking to my SIL, we both think H is afraid the therapist will testify against him in divorce court. S14 said some negative things about him not being around much so he probably is afraid of that, maybe justifiably so. Yet again, I think H is putting himself and his needs before the kids.
Yeah, I think he is pretty controlling. He wants to decide where I am going to live (during and after the divorce process!) and that I will stop homeschooling and work full-time and he wants me to change everything in my life and the kids' life so it will be convenient for him (and he is friends with a lot of judges in his town so wonder if that is another motivation for wanting the move too).
He is totally angry I think b/c I am not letting him control me anymore. Yes, I consider my C's opinions b/c she is good, but these are all things I have decided on my own and my C is just supportive of my decisions. I have really just gotten strong and self-confident (last year I never would have stood up for myself like this) and I think H blames the therapist and is mad at me!!! I see my C on Thursday and my D8 was also supposed to but I don't know what to do about that. My appt. with her is first, so I guess we'll have to talk about what is the best thing to do re: D8 and the insurance and all that.
H told me he doesn't want to pay alimony (well too bad) and I told him he could see the kids whenever he wanted as long as it wasn't more than 50% of the time, and I think (and he thought for the past 7 years until the OW) that homeschooling was the best for our kids, so that will be an issue we will probably have to fight out in court.
I don't want to fight anymore with H but wanted the kids to get therapy and don't want him to make all my choices for me anymore, so I think he will continue to be angry about that and there will be more fights in the future. I guess I just have to detach or something and try not to let his anger bring me down???
He mentioned going to mediation today for the first time he is so mad at me. My SIL says I need to see my attorney before doing that though but it is a lot of money b/c I have to pay the retainer (my brother is going to have to help out and everything and hope he gets reimbursed later). At least the one good thing is that H is being such a jerk now, that mediation and divorce I guess won't seem as painful as when he was being nice and friendly. Karen
I will stop mentioning her although I think your advice is sound: I wish he would talk to her. I am wondering if he refuses to talk to her & give her a chance, my SIL was saying I could take them anyway b/c the kids and I are on the insurance plan as well (although H is the primary) and I think if she says they need it we might be able to do that. But I would hate to do that and cause more big fights between H and I. But looking into another therapist will take months always for an appt. so that is a shame. 
