I was so upset about her "indecent" request, that I wrote the "I don't want to see/hear you anymore" email - I have to say that maybe I have been stupid - seeing she is not trying to contact me back, in any way, puts me in a VERY uncomfortable position - now I think - HEY SHE DOESN'T CARE!! AT ALL!! - I feel like to write her again - I canceled the outgoing email 3 times already - I don't know what is the right thing to do. I feel very weak - OK it has been only 24 hours - maybe I should wait more... maybe a week?
Maybe I should try to put the mind at rest in some way - it is so hard to give up on her, even if a part of me thinks she is not worth it, but another part of me is pleading her to show me that she actually is.
Desperate an lonely right now - venting here.