h4h, my first wife (10 yeas ago - no kids) had an A and WA, we had many friends in common and when I exposed her to the friends it really took a toll on her - the pressure from them and the shame was too much. After a few month she came back crying she wanted me back - but for me was too late - I have to say that even after many years the friends we had in common lost a lot of respect for her because of this, even her best friend distanced her.... Said that I don't think is a good idea to expose the A the kids - My parents are divorced (runs in the family), my mom had a "summer affair" while in vacation with friends, my dad found out and he moved out, he tried then to come back but at that point was my mom who didn't want him anymore. The first thing he did was to tell me about the affair, I was 14, - he thought I would take his side - I didn't, I somehow justified my mom - kids don't think like adults, I could never ever got against my mom, what I did I detached from my parents, specially my father that I found MORE responsible for what happened, I thought he "pushed her" to do that. He spent 20 years of hard work to reconnect with me - calling me every day - only now I understand what he went through. I am sorry for him... and for me
