Karen, Don't you wish you could just crawl into their heads and see what was going on? I believe if he was still h3ll bent on D, he would be 1) working on the house and 2) have filed already. But who knows!? As far as your changes coming too late (for him) -- I don't buy that. Love is a decision. As Sara said on another thread, love is a verb (I like that).
Joie
Oh, yeah, I'd love to see what's in H's head, but I think it might be too scary! He doesn't seem hell bent on rushing into divorce, but we just had R talk, brought up by him, and he is discussing where we are going to live separate houses and all. I think love is a decision but my H has already decided not to love me!
I guess he and I are like oil & water or something. He was mad at me this week he told me b/c when H said he was going to pick up the kids today for a sleepover, I emailed that I thought it would be great but would discuss with my therapist and see if she has any issues or concerns. He said that I was giving my C equal power in making decisions re: the kids, but I told him that I never said that as it isn't true. I really don't understand his anger almost a week later.
I also told him today I wanted to stay in our house and not sell it since I think we will not get any money out of it once we pay the mortgage, closing costs, and real estate agent (with the current bad housing market), and it is much cheaper than the town he is living in and where he has been telling me I will be moving.
He emailed me later he wanted to know when I decided I wanted to stay in our house and he thinks "my inactions" like on that is an example of when I am controlling. I told him I made the decision sometime around Tues or Wed after I discussed it with my therapist and she thought it was a good idea (stability of the kids staying in the same house and better than an apartment with the kids, cat, and large barking dog! He had emailed me Thurs. saying we would be moving to his town and I didn't email him back at that time b/c I was sick, worried about my sick D8, and it was almost midnight, too late for me to want to get into it. So I emailed him all that and told him I decided 3 or 4 days ago and wasn't trying to be evil or controlling in that. I told him I would discuss with my therapist if I am being controlling (deciding where I want to live? ) but I don't think I am. I also wanted to check with you all here and see if you think I am being controlling or unreasonable or whatever.
He also mentioned he doesn't want the kids to see our therapist (afraid she knows too much truth about our family maybe?) I told him I have always been honest with her and told her of all my warts and all and I think it is good she knows what is going on. My shy S14 that never talks was really open & honest and talked a lot with her and I think that is good. (She said she was surprised I said he wasn't talkative.) I asked my H to call the therapist and talk with her first before he makes up his mind. So we basically argued for the whole time he is here. I think I could get along with just about anybody in this whole world except for my H!!!
OMG, he has been emailing me with ?s like how long do I expect him to support me. I told him the legal system in our state, b/c we have been married so long, will expect him to support me (I believe until I remarry or would move in with someone which I wouldn't do. Then he asked me if we are homeschooling how will he spend a weekday night with them and I told him I would probably get full custody and most dads spend time with their kids on the weekends, but if he wanted to keep seeing them on weekdays I am fine with that b/c I never want to stop him from seeing the kids. I am surprised since H is a lawyer and supposedly saw a divorce attorney this is all news to him! (I think he has been in denial or something?!? ) Karen
And he took the kids and I miss them too!!! :(But plan on catching up on laundry and housework and will try to fit in a workout too!
He just emailed me how I want to be dependent on him all my life and how I haven't changed (meaning I have always been very dependent). I said I think homeschooling the kids (both autism spectrum & dyslexic) and working part-time will be as much a full-time job as his & probably more hours. He is not very likeable right now, I don't think. He emailed he doesn't think I'll get full custody and he would get just weekends although I'm a sahm and have been homeschooling them for 7 years? I think he is probably wrong though. Karen
) but I don't think I am. I also wanted to check with you all here 
and see if you think I am being controlling or unreasonable or whatever. 
) Karen
