Just a quick note- I did leave my first husband because frankly, he was an ass. It was not for another man, but for my sanity.... (course, I ended up with another whack job.... ) >giggles<
Ping,
You are doing a great job! Hope you and the boys have a great weekend!!
RWS, thanks, your first H was an a$$ also, did you ever think of taking him back? Did the two of you have kids? How long were you M?
S10 had ballgames out of town today, W sends me a text around 8:30 to see if the team came ready to play. I didn't hear the signal going off so she calls to find out what was going on in the game. She wanted me to keep her up to date on how the team did so I called her after the first game and after the second game to let her know. It amazes me, we talk and act like nothing is wrong, I even almost slipped up by not thinking when we got off the phone to tell her ILY, I didn't do it but it felt like one of those real conversations before all of this happened. She was in a great mood, W, her mother and mothers friend are at the beach laying out, W really loves just laying out by the pool.
Another players mother asked me today if W and I had S, I told her yes, she asked why? I told her because I'm an A$$, she says, yell, aren't all of you? I said I guess I'm just a bigger A$$ than most others. Most people would not even know we are S, we get along, sit together at games, talk and yet we are apart. It doesn't make much since to me.
All in all, a pretty good day, W will be calling boys tonight before their bedtime, I'm sure I will hear from her again in the morning to see if the team is ready to play or not.
So things are going good? It reads like it is....at least for her because she is laying out by the pool...you keep her informed......She sounds like she is really enjoying her life. Are you?
It amazes me, we talk and act like nothing is wrong, I even almost slipped up by not thinking when we got off the phone to tell her ILY, I didn't do it but it felt like one of those real conversations before all of this happened.
I feel the same way. Most of our phone conversations are as they used to be before the S. It's strange but a positive sign.
You are doing a great job with your S's this weekend. Hopefully W will be impressed (even if she doesn't show it) with how you were able to juggle the games/practices. Have a fun weekend with your boys!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
So things are going good? It reads like it is....at least for her because she is laying out by the pool...you keep her informed......She sounds like she is really enjoying her life. Are you?
FA, are you saying I shouldn't keep her informed? I have mixed signals on this, should I not communicate at all with her or do I continue to try and build our friendship? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
What I'm saying is, it sounds as though you are keeping the lines of communication open, which is good. But at the same time, it appears that she is living her life nicely and you are the one that is helping her ease into a life without the necessity of you. I think that you don't need to be her "secretary" on everything....that is why she is the mom right? How about her attend the games or once in a while and let her know you are going fishing, golfing, whatever the case may be and see if she reciprocates the info about the games and the such.
Thanks FA, she normally does attend every game and every practice. Her mother asked her a few weeks back to go to the beach for the weekend. She was hesistant because of the baseball games, I assured her I could handle the games and practices myself. My W stated one of her biggest concerns with me as her H was that she and I do not see eye to eye with the kids, she had to be the responsible one and I just let things go as they were, she was the enforcer and I was not. This was a good time for me to show her I can handle the kids myself and have them in two different places at once as I had to coordinate another mother to carry S7 to his practice so he wouldn't miss. These are kind of 180's for me as she always took care of this type of things. Any other advice you have for me, I am open to any. Thanks for your replys.
Well, showing that you are genuine in the attendance of your kids and those types of matters are important. I say that because it is said and true that they can see through the "Look honey, look how I am taking care of things." You want to do things because you WANT too....not because you NEED to. This is where a lot of couples screw up in the marriage. The W/H gives and gives and gives while the other SO takes and NEVER gives....or just enough to show the appreciation of it.
W called tonight to tell the kids goodnight. She asked what we were doing, told her watching a baseball game. She asked who was playing and who what the score was. She has never done this before, not even being married, she could care less about me and the sports I watch. In fact this was another one of my flaws from what she says, one of us would be in the family room watching one thing and the other would be in the bedroom watching something else. "No we time." She was as nice and pleasant as she could be, I really couldn't believe she was asking about the ballgame we were watching.
I know this probably sounds weird to some of you reading this but this was just not my typical W rather being in the FOG or not.
I hope she keeps this happy attitude when she's talking to me.
