This I agree with...My H was willing to reassure me of his commitment but he didn't really want to go back and talk about what HAD happened...he wanted to move forward...I don't think we swept anything under the rug either...
I did have boundries and we did communicate...and there was willingness to work by both of us...but my H wasn't one to bring up any of the past and he didn't like to talk about much...he was ready to be forgiven and recommit...that was his PROOF...had I wanted to snoop and have him be transparent I don't think he would have felt like he was forgiven...if I had reason to doubt that was one thing but he didn't want to be micro-managed...he wanted to be forgiven and to move on...
For us this has worked out...we did some minimal counceling...he did some more individual counseling for alcohol and past child abuse issues...but as for us a couple I couldn't ask for much more then where we are now...things are very good...we have good comunication...we are close...we both continue to GAL so that we don't fall into that co-dependent rut again...
BND said it best "Hollywood" endings are not likely to happen and if that is what you wait for you may never get it!...and you may not get back a marriage that is quite saveable if you insist on this...
