I don't know that much about piecing, but it seems that when you are truly in that stage, complete openness and honesty is needed, even to the point of encouraging the betrayed spouse to snoop. The returning spouse has to PROVE that they want to win you back, not just say the words.
I just wanted to comment on this...
Having been through a MAJOR MLC with my H I don't think this a realistic thing to look for...my H (under the influence of alcohol) poured his guts out to me before he returned...he said how sorry he was...how guilty he felt...HOWEVER, when he was sobered up he had no recall of this...he did say he was sorry, he was scared...he did NOT encourage snooping and he really didn't feel that he needed to PROVE anything or that he needed to WIN me back...he said, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this to work."...for some they really and truly want to put what they did behind them and not recall it because of the guilt they feel...
I know my H and I would talk about "her" sometimes...and when I discovered there was a one time email contact after he had been home for 9 months we were able to talk about that...but again...I don't think it is reasonable to expect EVERY man to come back crawling on his knees begging forgiveness and trying to prove himself with everything he does...some make a "silent" return...
