Earlier this morning, I was cleaning up some stuff on the catch-all table (junk mail, receipts, etc, etc) and found a card addressed to H from the female coworker that gave him the token of appreciation at work this past week.
Inside she wrote:
H,
Thank you for your leadership and ownership with the rail cars. I know it is not a fun job, but it's an important one, and one that is making (refinery) money. And during these uncertain times, that is a real accomplishment. I also appreciate your help in working with (another coworker) to help improve the offloading process. I hope we can work together to make it safer and more comfortable.
L
This is the same woman who H told me not to worry about because she is M'ed....Ok, whatever. H is right. M'ed people never go astray. (I want to puke !)
I realize this is most likely nothing more other than my insecurity getting the best of me, but a few things bother me here.
First, IMO, she made it VERY personal by using "I" instead of "We" (the refinery). Second, the card is in the shape of a heart (WTF??!!!). Lastly, she is speaking H's primary LL (WOA) BIG TIME, and to me, that spells trouble in a BIG way. OW and the girl H dated before moving back in catered to his ego in this way all the time.
*Sigh* I don't know. I guess I'm just worried.
Also, yesterday when H was out getting his car stereo, he called me but I didn't hear my phone ring. I called him back after I saw that he called, but this time he didn't answer. He called me about 10 minutes after that. I didn't ask why he didn't pick up when I called; he offered up an explanation himself, and it was the way he did it that troubled me.
My H has a "tell" when he's not being completely truthful about something. He clears his throat and tends to hesitate for a split second while telling his lie. He will also swallow somewhat hard.
Anyway, he did all of that (yes, I was able to tell over the phone) while saying that he didn't answer because he was busy pumping gas. Plausible, yes. However, I always KNOW in my gut when he's hiding something.
There have been hugs, kisses, ILYs, and flirting coming from H, but there hasn't been any sex since.......probably about a month ago. Again, I don't know. I suppose it could just be due to the recent arguments we've had.
Oh, I don't think I ever mentioned that during one of those arguments, my H told me he is here for one reason, and for one reason only. It is to "raise the children the right way". To "give them the father I never had". "They are ALL I care about. I don't give a sh** about what happens between you and me."
5 1/2 hours to go until I'm on way to Brentwood for ladies night.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
!)
