I can tell you that I prefer this over the blaming, spewing, cursing, lying ex....
It helps put so much clarity on my situation.
It is funny when you are in the midst of their cycling, how you don't realize how utterly ridiculous your situation is, or even looks to an outsider.
Imagine watching a movie where this guy was married happily for 20 years. He has a beautiful house, loving wife and great kids. He gets the hots for his secretary who is 10 years younger than he. She practices yoga and worships at some buddhist temple. He starts eating organic and starts wearing muscle shirts and buys a sports car. He even buys some "sex enhancing pills".
Would you laugh at him in the movie? Think that he is ridiculous? arrogant? self-serving? selfish? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES........
Imagine his reaction to what he looks like when he finally gets a grip on his reality.
"Holy [censored] I'm an ass"
He will be embarrassed, humiliated, shocked, etc...
What and how can you be to make him feel comfortable to come back to your home??????? Are you doing this? Do your actions speak louder than your words? They look for actions, not words. They don't hear your words.
Do they see softness in your eyes? Do they see God in your life? Do they see forgiveness? Do they see stength? Are they seeing you stand for your marriage? Are they seeing you be the best person you can be? Are you not pursuing. They hate pursuing. They see this as control.
We all know what we are not suppose to do. It is easier said than done, right? Keep reminding yourselves that the more we follow the above, the more the chances of our spouses returning. Do I know this as a fact, no. It makes sense though. I wish all of you strength to do this and the patience it takes to wait for their return.
God Bless.......
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
