words of encouragement

[81388*]

Karen;
I understand all to well the need for inspiration. This has obviously been the longest year of my life, and there were many times I just wanted to give up and move on with my life, but everytime I got close I just kept thinking that that was not who I wanted to be. It hurt, it was frustrating, it was infuriating, but at the end of the day, it was worth it.

Diana;
Glad to help motivate, it really is the hardest part, keeping the motivation and the focus and not allowing your emotions to rule. I wish I had a specific set of things I did to "pull it all together", but the reality is it just takes a long time. I have read elsewhere that the longer you have been married prior to this ordeal the longer it takes to resolve it. I don't know if that is true or not, but it makes sense that if the problems have been ignored for a longer time then the repair will take longer. For the most part, it was about not loosing site of the fact that I loved my wife. No matter how angry, hurt, or disappointed I became. I stood so that I would never have to wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I could have done more for my kids, more for my wife. I would be happy to try and answer specific questions, but don't really know what specifics to provide.

ROOT;
Thanks for the post, I remember reading a lot of your stuff while I was on the boards, I am glad to hear you are working on success. Congratulations!!! I agree, familiar is good. I think the desire for familiar is what drains the fuel from the affair. I said all the way along that my biggest advantage in this fight for my marriage was 27 years of shared life experiences. At the begining, that was also a negative.:)

Joie;
Love you tag line! 11th hour indeed. The funny thing is I was ready for it to be over. I had prepared for a negative outcome, and was ready to move on with my life either way, anything for the pain and frustration to start to fade. When we had our mediation session for the parenting plan, we sat right next to each other on one side of the table. The mediator came in and was obviously shocked. She commented that she wasn't used to couples sitting next to each other. After that session, we both cried like babies as it felt like we were trying to "cut the baby in half", but neither wanted to loose them all together. You are right, divorce filing is often just the begining, not the end.

Thanks again for posting, glad to pay back all the support and motivation I received from many,many folks who were all hurting just as badly as I was and made time for someone else.

Stay strong, stay the course!