My main concern here was the fact of the child being beaten. He was kicked in the privates; this could have done permanent damage. If a stranger had done this they would have been locked up. BT said she had done it before and denied it. His son was afraid. No child should live in fear. She lied about beating her child...BT has stated that this was not the first incident, he has tape recorded his childs previous allegations. One incident of violence or abuse towards my son and my H would only see with supervision from a third party.
I agree MLC have little clue about their actions and that is why this issue should be taken so seriously.
I have actually filed for divorce, But yea, my H lies and has OW. I still love him and decided that his happiness was more important than our marriage. I am currently working through where I went wrong in my marriage and hoping to become a better person. I personally wouldn’t want a relationship with me at the moment so I don’t expect anyone else to
Nutty.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
The point I was trying (not very well)to make on the first post you mentioned was… when I read BT posts about his W, he sounds very bitter and angry. He is full of all of his wives bad points. He has also previously mentioned that she has an anger disorder, drinks too much and maybe bi-polar. Basically, I was saying to him if she is as bad as you say *WHY* do you want to be with her?
WHY?
What is good about her?
BT doesn’t seem to have made an effort to look at his own shortcomings. He is often talking about how other women find him attractive and talk positively about him. He has mentioned dating etc.
He doesn’t strike me as someone trying to nurture and support a W in MLC. It sounds as if he is trying to demonise her.
He needs to give his wife some space and work on himself instead of continually putting her down.
Nutty.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
But as with all of us here, we only read about one person's side of the story.
We don't hear the other person's side.
I do not know his wife, I do not know BT.
But I am a Mother and I was Married to a MLC'er.
I know that things happen, sometimes we lose control, we do things we regret, we act impulsively.
I know I have not abused my chidren, but I also know at times I could have been pushed over the edge when I was very stressed out and was lacking sleep.
I have at times had to go take a walk, or go outside and have a cigarette just to cool off.
I am human, I do not have as much patience as I would like.
I also have alot of children, and believe me, as much as I try to keep things in order, it doesn't always work out that way.
With all due respect to BT, I do not believe that if his wife was a chronic abuser that he would have tolerated it during the Marriage....and if he did, then shame on him.
In regards to your other comment, BT hasn't accepted that he has had a part to play in the demise of his Marriage.
The letter he found from his MIL was very telling.
There had been problems for years.
He still doesn't believe he needs to change.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
W says there have been problems for 20 years just like any other MLCer would. i am also responsible for Global warming the US trade deficit, equal right, you name it.
I have made major changes and will take more than 50% of the responsibility for my M breakdown. I think I have mentioned this before. I am the only one working on our sitch and the only one saying I have an issue and must see a Pysc. I am working very hard on me and making sure i don't make these same mistakes again.
It was totally necessary that I make this house move. Living in the house just raised the negative energy level for all. I need to protect my kids. I know they will be with me all the time. I am very excited about my new place. It is 500 yards from my old house and 100 yards from my work. My kids will have full access to me all the time. I love them so much.
Things appear to be headin in the wrong direction here.
I'm with BND on the house move why on earth would you subject YOURSELF to the unecessary mental truama of living so close to someone that doesn't want you around??
Where is the space your supposed to give your wife?
Are you going to be tempted to do late night drivebys?
Did you buy this house or are you renting?
Do you own a car?
Wouldn't it be better to live further away and simply drive your children instead having them walk? I mean.....if it's late at night your not going to let them walk home in the dark are you?
BT, your hurt and anger over this is showing now through your actions.
What do you think your wife is going to think about the close proximity of your new home???
I would think you were stalking me.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
YOU GUYS ARE ALL CRAZY. My relationship with my wife is over. I am moving on. I have lived in the same town or very close by for 48 years. All my friends, business, country club and kids are here. Why would I move far away. I am buying the house and i do own a car. Nobody find it unusual that i am buying this house. Although it is close it is blocks away. There willbe no drive by's and no stalking. My kids are 18, 16 and 12. It's the S12 that I am most concerned about. We have friends that have done the same thing but live across the street from each other. I think it is a great move.
why on earth would you subject YOURSELF to the unecessary mental truama of living so close to someone that doesn't want you around??