Changing myself for myself

[Firekeeper]

he called yesterday night. i was already asleep. told me that he is not coming this mon but next sunday. asked if there were any changes in my sit he needs to know about. i said - no. i asked him if there were any changes on his end. he said no. he started to say that he is very tired... - i didn't engaged, i wished him good day and said good bye.

the biggest reason i am not engaging is that i do not feel good about myself. it's been a year and i do not see changes in myself that i would want.

i still work at a job that i do not enjoy, that i do not feel successful at and that do not provide enough financial stability. my attempts to change it were not successful.

i still can't manage my house and papers

i still feel inferior to my h's achievements in business and finances

i still can't value me for me