Sometimes it's like learning to live and react totally opposite of what you are used to. That's what makes it hard. I mean, when someone hurts you you feel it and react accordingly. But now I am trying to trick myself into ignoring that pain. I have to smile when I feel sad. I have to suck it up and accept things the way they are. It is possible but it is hard...and freinds and family really can't understand it unless they have been there before....I am learning how to do it but much of my learning is just learning to become numb to it...I just hope I come out of this with my emotions intact. After all is said and done I will need to learn how to live and love again whether things work out or not. I just don't know how the emotional pain is going to play out after I bury it for so long....
H 42 W 37 M17 T20 years 3 daughters 11,11,14 seperated 11/26/07 EA neighbor/ moved in w/ him 2/8 Filed for D 01/08 finalized soon
The pain will bring growth. It is your body’s way of telling you that you need to take extra care of yourself.
You are not burying it, you are feeling it everyday, you are just not inflicting the hurt from your pain on your W.
In time you will realise that being able to control how you deal with your pain will make you stronger.
Vent here, there is some amazing advice and support on this forum.
Nutty.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I wrote every hateful thing my H said to me on a piece of paper and burned it-I did this every night for about 2 months I think- it's amazing the strength I got from those flames.
If you can speak to a therapist-I know in the UK we have a charity organisation called Samaritians-it's free and confidential-it's good to talk to some-one apart from family and friends.
For anger management try running or a boxing class.
My heart goes out to you because it's difficult to GAL or do 180's when every thing you hold dear is in freefall.
When I was in the worst of it I tried to do one of the following every day
laugh with the children-soak in the sound of their laughter walk the beach-watch the sunset/sun rise count stars go to church
these are the constant things in our life - when the rest is slipping through your fingers they will help ground you.
