Sorry I haven't posted for a while. The usual ups and downs for right now.
The W is in Phoenix with her girlfriends for the weekend, I asked her to do some serious thinking while she was there. We got married when we lived in Phoenix, up in Sedona, which is a beautiful part of the state. She didn't say no to thinking, but she didn't say yes either.
I will be staying at a friends house for a while to try and give her the space and time she has asked for, that is what she says may help her, and maybe it will do me some good too. We are going to tell the kids on Monday that I ma not going to be coming home from work every morning but I will still see them almost everyday and when ever they want.
My 7 yr. old is already upset, a couple of days ago my W and I were in the car when we picked him up from school. When he got in the car and saw his mom with me he was so happy, asking if we are back together. It almost broke my heart because the W said nothing and it took me a minute to say "No, we are just going to pick up your moms car from the shop.". Today he asked me about a summer vacation, if my and I don't break up. I don't know what to say to him anymore.
The good news is that she will still talk to me, and on the advice of my C, I write her letters, which to my surprise she reads and even asks questions about after she reads them. I will take this as a positive sign for now.
Unfortunately the OM is still in the picture, she sees him on a regular basis, usually after she gets off of work at 10:30 pm, then she will come home around 2 am. This is based on HIS schedule, due to him working in the morning, also she never goes over on the days that his ex, my ex-OW is off of work .
I have pointed this out to my W numerous times that she is basically this "Fat, balding geeks" (Descriptions of him by people that know him, not mine) booty call. We both know she is better than that and should have more respect for herself thatn that but as I have been told by more than a few people, she knows how much her seeing and talking to him bothers me, much the same way my working around the OW bothers her, and this is a way for her to punish me.
I presented my W with my transfer request, she just said that it is only a couple of more months until I can pick where I transfer to, so don't make any waves. The transfer and reason for it would become a part of my permanant file and could hurt my career in the long run, so she has a point. Plus my hours would change making child care a real nightmare.
She also said, regarding the transfer, that it isn't what I might do, it's what I have already done. We have some major trust issues to deal with.
I picked up a book "How Can I Trust You" by Janice Abrams Spring. If anyone has read it or knows about it and its affect, positive or negative, could you let me know.
