For the guys with kids and a WAW

[hopeful4her]

Went to pick my D's at grandma's house. While there, D11 sits with me and starts to ask questions like, "If you and mom get divorced and get married to someone else, then if you have other kids...." I stop her and begin the talk that I have been wanting to have with her. I tell her that I know that mommy has talked to her and mentioned some things about moving. I told her that I was going to make some promises to her. Firstly, that I was going to do everything that I could to keep our family together. Everything. For them. Secondly, if mommy keeps on, then I am going to do everything that I could to keep them with me and not with her. She almost seemed relieved. She expressed that she is "kinda mad" at mom and has heard her say that she doesn't want to be married. She also told me that when two people get married, they make a promise to stay married. I agreed with her and reassured her of my priority. Keep the family together. I told her how much I loved WW, but I will fight to keep the girls with me. No bad talk. D11 even mentioned how she didn't like mommy's decisions. I also told her that I was sorry that she was feeling this and that I will never make her have to decide or choose. I told her that I was going to do that for her and sister. My heart was breaking.

WW does not understand what she is doing to everyone. D11 even said that if we can't agree on who get the kids, who are going to stay with? Again, I assured her that there are only three choices. We stay together as a family, they stay with me or with mommy. No one else. We left and D6 wanted to stay at grandmas. WW called and I told her to meet us for dinner at an Italian restaraunt. We had a good dinner. We all talked about our day. Had a good time. After, we walked to a bookstore to browse. I know that WW kept watching how D11 was walking with me and trying to hold my hand. At store, WW and I were being a little playful. We both ran to an empty chair to see who would get to sit. She left a little early to pick up nephew. D11 and I stayed a bit and left soon after.

On way home, I tell D11 that it was good to talk to her, but that it should just be between us. She then offers that maybe we should try to do even more family stuff to try to help mommy. I let her know that mommy and daddy really love each other and that sometimes we all go through hard times. God will help us. I also tell her how I have been tempted to leave but God told me not to. The Saturday before WW's stroke last November, I prayed for God to tell me if I should go or not. I was ready and then on Sunday WW goes to hospital. I got my sign.

At home, we all meet up and I start to watch my Spurs kick some butt. WW sits with me for a while watching the game and we are both eating some ice cream. D11 goes to bed and WW decides to sleep in room with her, as D6 bed is empty.

I have great kids. They know my intentions. If it comes down to the nitty gritty, they know what I plan on doing. Fight for them to be with me. I know that they all agree. They know my priority is to keep the family intact at all cost. If not, then mom is going to be alone.

I pray for her and I hope that God is getting through to her. I hope she "comes home" before it is too late. Do not intend to snoop, so I'm not sure where she is. Just going to keep doing what I've been doing. Positive signs? Not sure. I have been mislead before. My kids are making me stronger everyday. I am in love with WW and my kids.