I'm so sorry to hear about this, Mink. Sounds like a brutal night. I understand you completely about holding back on the feelings, though I'm sure this wasn't easy in the least for you inside. I can't understand it--she seemed(s) to still be struggling, not resolved about it. It has always been hard for me to understand how someone can leave without knowing what they want.
I think Marcum makes a very key point above in his post about her not really knowing what life is like without you in it. She's also said how she feels jealous that you are doing such a great job in GAL for yourself. You've continued to be an emotional anchor point in her life throughout this whole thing (and your M.), so it will be a big change for her not having you in it. I wonder if she knows what that will be like.
I feel your heartbreak, MM. She's bounced around on this a few times before though...let's see what the next few days bring. In the meantime, this totally, totally sucks. BUT, all that great work you've been doing on yourself and GALing has not been for nothing. In fact, it's a good foundation for you, no matter what unfolds in the next while (and I'm not 100% yet convinced that this is how the story ends).
I'll check back in with you soon. Get some rest tonight if you can at all...I know you must be hurting incredibly right now.
