You Can Lead A Horse To Water...

[almosthopeful]

I'm so glad you have your mom to stay with you. Even in "routine" surgery it is really, really nice to have someone there.

Lissie is a smart cookie...he doesn't want to be responsibility for your feelings and he must be absolutely eaten up with his own guilt. Too bad for him, he could change that if he wanted to.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs again,

AH

[hopefloats7]

Thank you, AH. I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers right now.
I hope you are doing ok, too. It's nice to keep in touch, even after the "aftermath" of all of this, you know?

[brandnewday]

((((((((Hope))))))))

Just sending happy thoughts and prayers

[ACJ]

I hope your surgery goes well.

Now its time to say goodbye

[hopefloats7]

Thanks for the well wishes; it's in a couple of weeks.

H did email me yesterday about it. He apologized for not being in touch sooner and said he'd been very busy with work. His standard line. He wanted to know when it would be, and I told him, but I don't expect anything from him.

[angelica]

Hope, sorry about the surgery: and it is good that your mom is coming. It doesn't make you a charity case, you know.

Of course you should have told your h - he was a major part of your life for the longest time. If he were to have surgery you would be terribly hurt not to know.

Don't let their corruption of normal behaviour blind us to what is normal. I think he needed to know, you had a right to tell him, and it is good that you did.

What he does with the information is up to him.

Take care, Hope, you are very special

[almosthopeful]

hope,

He wanted to know when it would be, and I told him, but I don't expect anything from him.

Well, IMO you are wise to not expect anything. That said, I won't be surprised if you do hear from him. Underneath all the pain and confusion, it certainly seems like he loves you in a very real way.

I hope you are having a diverting weekend!

AH

[Lissie]

Goodmorning Sweetie!

I am glad he at least emailed. Who knows what these guys are thinking. In my next life I am gonna come back a guy. Then in my next life after that, I am going to come back a woman, and tell the women, all the secrets.

Luv u

[Bworl]

Hope,

Best wishes on the surgery - hope it's as routine as you suggest.

Sorry that your husband still has not found the balls to admit that he screwed up his life when he left you.

Most of all, I'm sorry to hear that a person with all your obvious gifts and talents is still bound by wondering what's wrong with you. Really Hope, comparing yourself to the latest girlfriend, while perhaps natural, is the proverbial cheeseless tunnel.

After all this time, it's time to replace the wedge of your life that was always occupied with your husband, with something else. Something that will be good for Hope. Something that will make her feel good about herself.

I just spent the better part of this weekend watching my ex parade her "soulmate" around our old friends at two of my sons baseball games. It's actually sad to see how hard they try to recapture parts of their life that they've already trash canned because of their behavior.

I don't buy into the too often repeated mantra that "this relationship won't work either." We simply don't know that. What we do know is that he's still broken so at the very least his new love interest is getting damaged goods. But perhaps that's what we had too, eh?

The important thing here is that there is an awful lot of good life yet to be lived, and WE have the choice as to whether we will spend that time with one eye looking backward all the time, or commit ourselves to embracing all that life has in store for us.

There's nothing to be lost by commiting fully to finding joy for the rest of your life.


Blessings,

Bill

[hopefloats7]

I agree with you, Bill. I'm making a lot of forward movement, a lot of it I don't post about all that much. But suffice it to say, I keep very active and busy, I like my job, have made new friends and have a very positive life.
The residual feelings I have for H are about as minute as I feel they will ever be. In other words, I don't entirely expect them to fully disappear. That's what I am trying to live with now.

Sorry that your husband still has not found the balls to admit that he screwed up his life when he left you.
On the contrary. He has repeatedly admitted he screwed things up and wishes now he had never left. That isn't the problem. He just adamantly feels it's irrepairable, so he's moving forward.