I guess I find it hurtful that my H is still bringing the past after almost 2 years. He knows I have changed and yet he still brings up the past disagreements and what he didn't like about me. Is it an excuse to not work on himself? I can't help wondering why he hasn't filed for D. Whether it's because he still wants to be married or whether it's for financial reasons. It's so heart wrenching and painful. I am still crying about our conversation. I am praying for strength, and pain relief.
Not going out tonight - raining pretty heavily. Otherwise, I would have gone ballroom dancing. I think I am just so tired and weary from not getting enough sleep the last 3 days and from the R talk with my H.
One of my friends thinks the R talk showed progress because he didn't lose his temper. He admitted during the ocnversation that part of the M failing was because he has a bad temper. And he told me he hasn't changed completely. I think he meant he's still got a bad temper. When I asked if he was afraid he'd hurt me again, he said it wasn't the case, I think.
When I asked if he'd consider trying things out with him and me still living separately, he said he didn't want to lead me on. What does that mean? Does it mean he has no intention to change his mind about our S? Or does it mean he doesn't know the outcome yet?
I think he's depressed and I wish he would go see someone about it.
