my story adventures of a WAW!

[christarn]

Ping, I'm happy if what I'm sharing can help anyone who is going thru this. I am more than willing to share any part of my experience/feelings/emotions etc. if it can help any one around here understand the whole WAS phenomenon. Even myself, being a WAW, I do not completely understand it. I feel, a lot of my actions were me not dealing with issues appropriatly. We (h & me) let everything boil inside, then when we would have a dispute, everything from our past, including the kitchen sink, would come flying out, totally not healthy, and extremely inappropriate. I, in retrosprect, realize, walking out was a very selfish thing to do. But, I also truly believe, God has brought me to this place for a reason. Maybe it was so I could help others, maybe it was so I could learn to be a better wife to my H, maybe it was to become closer in my relationship to Him; whatever the reason is, all I can do is pray, my H will wake up, and realize he wants me to again be a part of his life.

Monday will be 4 weeks no contact. I'm starting to go a little nutty!!! However, If what they say is true: the LBS becomes the WAS, I am trying to remember what I felt like a year ago, when I left. The last thing I wanted was him calling and bugging me all the time. I needed time to sort out my life. The more he called, the further it pushed me away. So, for now, I'm thinking with that mentality. I hope it doesn't take him too long to get his head out of his rear end. I left in Jan. 07, he did the typical begging thing for about 2 months. He left me alone in March, we started talking again in May, and put the D on hold at the end of May. I'm hoping if I give him a good couple of months, it might just wake him up. Only time will tell! Any suggestions from your point of view?

I agree totally with what your co-worker said, and look at what I said, after my H gave me two months to fly on my own, I was ready to talk about retracting the D, and working on our R/M, my H is just too easily influenced from outside sources who are telling him, not to work on it, and just get a D. Isn't that nice!!(note the sarcasm!) His parents told me, no joke, to leave him, after I had divulged a huge personal problem we had went thru, now they are telling him to stay far-far away from me...goes to show, never trust your in-laws!!!

I think, just my 2 cents, give her time, detatch, see what happens...watch and monitor. Only talk to her about the kids. If she starts to linger around longer after some time of you doing this, you will have your answer!

take care ping!

hugs 2 you!
hope the weather stays nice, maybe you will be able to get out and play some golf!!!
Christa