I just wanted to let you know that my H got to the EXACT point you are at right now, but actually wanted a D. No ifs, ands or buts about it. He was deadset on D. He was D O N E trying anything & everything and when I read how you are feeing, I can imagine that is just about how he was feeling.
The good news is that he did turn this around (so I'm sure you could). The bad news is that your H is going to have to be willing to do a LOT of hard work to get you back -- I know I did and it was totally worth it. Unfortunately, if he still is putting all sorts of blame on you and is not willing to be the one who does the work to get you back, I don't know how you will be able to change your feelings about him. I don't know that it's something you can do on your own w/o a LOT of input from him.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
