I spoke to a coworker today that went through this some years ago, his situation was alot like mine, his wife told him he was happy, he was angry and she wanted to end the marriage. He left the house and begged and pleaded for about the first month. His father sat him down and told him to take a break for a year, get his own life, enjoy life, don't beg and plead with you W, you are embarrassing me.
He then began to get his life back together, he didn't call his W, the only time they talked was when he called to talk to his kids or when he went to pick the kids up. Some 3 months later after he stopped persuing her, she wanted to reconcile the marriage. Guess what, he had moved on with his life and didn't want to reconcile. He was tired of her fussing whenever he would play golf or do things with his friends. He stated he did not date during this time nor did his wife. Once he detached from her, she became back attracted to him but it was too late for him. They are D now, he has moved on and remarried and is happy. His W today does not do the nagging that his X did. He was the one wanting to save his marriage at first then realized it was not only him that screwed up and realized he was better off without her.
He told me to back off completely with W, he knows W also and says there is no way she is involved with someone else. She sounds alot like his W sounded from what he is telling me. I guess the reason I am posting this is because it does give more hope for my sitch.
When I was telling him about this site and what they recommend, he said he couldn't agree more, when he put these actions into place was when his W came around to him and wanted to reconcile. He said she was SHOCKED when he told her he was done and didn't want to get back into the marriage.
So for those of you out there who are going through this along with myself, take this advice, this is what Michelle preaches, I know it is very difficult. I have detached for the last 2 weeks and I feel much better about myself and my friendship with W. I am praying that my W will come around sooner or later but I know I can't be the one to push this to happen, she has to be the one to make that decision.
From what I have read on this site with those who have busted their D, I see a common time frame of 6-10 months for their spouse to come around. I am at month 5 right now but for the first 4.5 months I did everything wrong so it may take me longer, time will tell if she will ever come around.
Good luck to everyone reading this, there is hope.
