Rob #9 - Don't Stop Believin'

[Rob1231]

Yeah a little worried that there might be a re-bomb...but heh. Honest, like you said I know the drill, more importantly, she knows I will not do this again.

Well, I've been thinking about this since my earlier post.

The bottom line for me is that I AM happy, and I am being the best "Rob" that I know how to be. I will keep learning and growing for my own well being.

As far as our relationship, I know that I really HAVE given it my best shot, and will always continue to do so, given the chance. I'll keep trying to find ways to improve things - planning our upcoming Las Vegas trip was a nice example of my improving in an area of our R where I knew that I needed to "step up" some more.

But I do recognize that there's only so much one person can do for a relationship. In the end, my wife will want to stay with me, or she won't. If she doesn't, my take is - that will be her loss. Walking away from the person that I am today would be a very different choice for her to make, as opposed to walking away from the person that she knew a couple of years ago.

Bottom line - the journey never ends. But then, I always have been pretty good at the ol' "Time and Patience" bit.

My mistake was in skimming and reading those things. And not just throwing them out.
...
Errr the real question in my rambling was...do you get upset still about the past, I guess no matter why, does it happen to you? Even if it is just a flash a moment even though you and your wife are doing great.

Aw, that is a tough one. Sure, I confess, I still have those old emails stashed away somewhere, and every now and then (very rarely) I will make the mistake of looking at them. Yes, it does hurt like h3ll when I do that.

OTOH, I'm not sure that I want to forgive and completely forget. Not because I want to throw that cr@p back in her face someday - there would be absolutely no point in that. But because I need the reminder of how far I let my side of the M go, how close to the edge we came. That reminder "keeps me honest" and helps motivate me to continue on the DBing/GALing path.

That "needing a reminder" deal is also one of the reasons I continue to hang out here at the boards. (The other reason, of course, is a desire to "pay back" some of the wonderful help and support that I received way back when.)

So btw are you really this peppy? Or is this as Ian says the board persona?

Ha, there's a question for you! I honestly can't say that anyone has EVER called me "peppy" before in real life!

I don't think it is that I "adopt" a board persona as much as that this way of communicating "masks" how I behave in person. I would describe myself as more quiet and introspective than how I come across here. My terrific witty responses are often the result of slow careful thought that you don't perceive.

One of my friends calls me a "conversational sniper." Other people will be bantering back and forth, a mile a minute, and I'll just be sitting and listening, processing. Then, at a convenient break in the discussion, I'll toss in that "just the right snappy thing to say" that no one was expecting.