She came back two days ago after work. No stuff with her. I asked "Are you home for real or are you here some nights and there some nights?" The latter was her answer. I said, essentially, "Ok. That's completely disrespectful to me to continue the thing with him and just ask me to be a roommate. We'll need to find some other arrangement." She agreed but right now nothing is feasible. ?? I went out that night with some new friends.
We spent the night in the same bed, barely. (She comes in to bed way, way late hoping I'll be asleep.) When we spend the evening in the same apartment, we're actually pleasant to each other. Making jokes. Laughing. Before the talk in the last paragraph she told me, and I kept asking about, Hawaii. It was nice. I'm making sure that I'm never the one with a sharp tongue. In fact, other than that one conversation, I avoid saying anything that might make her mad. She'll seem to want to start fights but I don't reciprocate. That ends them.
Last night, unable to gauge where I was/we were, I quickly caressed her arm as I rearranged my covers. Her: What? Me:[sleepy] hrmh? Her: You brushed my arm. Me: [sleepy] mmhmm Her: I was asking why. Me: [sleepy] mmunno (I dunno.)
I expected a response, and I got one. Now I know not to touch in that context. In fact, that allowed me to look at our situation a little more realistically and I grabbed a sleeping bag and an alarm clock and moved into the den a few minutes later. "G'night." As much as it kills my back, on the nights she's home, that's my new bedroom. (I'm buying an air mattress this weekend! Ouch!)
