Bill....I think despite how quickly your marriage ended that you still saw the mistakes that happened and had your xW been able to come out of her MLC to see it that you two probably would have had a chance...I do think you have good advice to share...
I would like to comment on "if yu were back together, trying to repair the relationship, communication would be a focal point."
While this is the IDEAL situation to have sometimes...like with my H and evidently with a new 2moro's H...is that they might return a bit too soon...then the dynamics are totally different...you really have to go on gut and history...even though I questioned myself often I had a gut feeling that if my H was to get back to where he was emotionally that our history would pick up and we would reconnect and ultimately recommit...he did pretty much what I see here...although the OW in our case was not financially dependent on my H...I didn't attack her character...although he knew my feelings...I tried to be patient with him and trust his word that he was trying to love me again...realizing that he would need time to get over all the feelings with OW...as long as he was willing to be with me...and for the most part not be in contact with her...I was patient on the intimacy and the physical connection...the emotional connection was to take much longer...and required much more patience...
I hope this clarifies for some....and Bill...keep posting you have much to contribute from what I am reading!
