Liz, I wanted to reply because I am in a precarious sitch with my H and his OW. Sometimes I feel like a pariah around here ...
But I do have those days/weeks when I feel the same way as you, we've worked so hard to get where we are, but I at times I feel like I don't know the man I am married to!
If the co-worker filled out a restraining order but never filed it, she must not have been that afraid of him. Sounds fishy to me. Not sure where she is coming from, but perhaps she was pizzed off that you contacted her and said what you said ... classic (but childish) retaliation.
I'm also struggling with who was the instigator of the A for my H. I always assumed it was OW (she's had several of A's), but info I learned this week indicates otherwise. However, this info came from OW and she LIES THROUGH HER TEETH! But my latest quandary is what I should do with this info.
I'm undecided but part of me feels, it's in the past. The A is over. Does it matter who instigated it? What's done is done. Let it go. Knowing who did what will not change what happened. We've been working on creating new memories, so let's keep on trucking...
You may never know the truth of your H and the OW. But you do "know" him -- do you think is capable of such harassment? I think his comment about "she is probably going to say bad things about me" indicates that he realizes that she is a somewhat volatile.
