Then we go down to the waterpark an dhad a decent time, still trying not to but noticing all these dads palying with their kids.....That song reminds me that I am not special, that this person had a song with my husband - THen it was all I could think about how my focus is on making sure the A is over and H coming home but that I am not sure any of that would matter because it would require so much effort on his part to ever make me feel special or safe again and how can he do that if he doesn't even know if he wants to live here?
D did have a great time and got a new Webkinz which seems to be the most important part to her.
Neecy I am not going to be of much help today. I am having a lot of the same kinds of thoughts that you are having! I guess we all have those days and mess up on DBing or whatever, so hopefully tomorrow will be a new & better day.
I do suspect that a lot of the dads at the waterpark are maybe divorced dads too. I think a lot of people are in our situation also even though it seems like everyone else has an intact family sometimes.
I'm glad your D had a great time-my D8 loves webkinz too! I know way more about webkinz than an adult should!!! Karen
(((Neecy))) I'm glad you seemed to have a good time with DD even though H pulled out. I know how hard it is to be places and see other families out, but just know we are not the only ones going through this, so things are not always as they appear.
So far as bad DB'ing goes, we all slip sometimes...ok, some of us more than others , but the important thing is to realize it, adjust and then keep on.
You really are doing a great job and it sounds like H is having to live some of the consequences of his actions. Reality is a B#&%^h, but its just life.
Keep your boundaries and do things that make you happy and DD happy. Hope you have a good day. Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I did just get a boost to my PMA. Took D over to JK just showered pulled my hair back in a pony. A mom I dont know came up to me and said are you sure you are a mom you look so good, I feel like I just got up off the floor to come here and look at you.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Trust me Neecy, not everyone in Cali looks good. Things are not as they appear. My H found the Troll in BEAUTIFUL California...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Bakersfield, Live as it should be. Which just makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. WHATEVER!!!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Neecy, as Karen and Corey said, we all backslide every now and then, and it is completely alright to have the feelings that you do. You are entitled to them. And yes, seeing other 'happy' families around does hurt, but I bet with some, it's a very different scenario behind closed doors. There is no such thing as a flawless M/family.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you were able to enjoy a spa day! Aren't they wonderful?!! Also happy that D had lots of fun!
And what a compliment from an almost complete stranger! I remember pumping gas one time during the summer, wearing shorts and sandals, and I had my hair pulled up, too. Some guy was walking past me and said, "Such pretty feet!" (His W/GF was in the car.) Ok, kinda weird, but made me feel good nonetheless. It felt good to know that someone, even a total stranger, could see something good, something appealing in me.
Take care of yourself, lady.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
And what a compliment from an almost complete stranger! I remember pumping gas one time during the summer, wearing shorts and sandals, and I had my hair pulled up, too. Some guy was walking past me and said, "Such pretty feet!" (His W/GF was in the car.) Ok, kinda weird, but made me feel good nonetheless. It felt good to know that someone, even a total stranger, could see something good, something appealing in me.
Thanks for the laugh, GF. I love the foot fetish guy taking note of your feet!!! Sounds like something that would happen to me too! I think compliments are so good for us, I know when H told me INILWY and got the OW and said he wasn't attracted to me, I felt like a troll! But compliments from others (most guys anywhere around my age) have convinced me that H is just messed up (like most of the other WAS around here! Karen
, but the important thing is to realize it, adjust and then keep on. 
I remember pumping gas one time during the summer, wearing shorts and sandals, and I had my hair pulled up, too. Some guy was walking past me and said, "Such pretty feet!" (His W/GF was in the car.) Ok, kinda weird, but made me feel good nonetheless. It felt good to know that someone, even a total stranger, could see something good, something appealing in me.