It doesn't seem like the two of you understand each other very well. The email you shared earlier and his response to it are so incredibly disconnected that it's almost like the two of you are not even living in the same house.
How long did you deal with a MLCer? The MLCer is disconnected, and unlike conventional DBing you cannot get them to connect. They simply cannot see anyones else point of view. With my h, others share with me occasionally their frustration at trying to have a real conversation with him, in which he connects. They just don't.
But it isn't Patti's failing at all, it is in this case, entirely her h's.
Maybe I misread your email, but it seemed to suggest that Patti could be doing more here, and I think it is part of the MLC persona, sadly. I believe that you went fairly rapidly through to a divorce, for which I am truly sorry, although I gather that you have found someone else, which is excellent. However, the fact that your wife divorced you is no reflection on your DBing skills, and the fact that Patti isn't connecting with her h is similar. It is part of the MLC condition.
