Rob #9 - Don't Stop Believin'

[Rob1231]

Thanks for posting that summary of your sitch. So it looks like you've been actively piecing since the beginning of 2007? Timeframes are very similar to mine, just offset a year earlier. I also took the time to get my MBA to improve my career options and myself.

Hi hff, Pleased to meet you. Actually, I would say I have been piecing since the beginning of 2006. (Wow!)

My W re-bombed me also, but actually went to the extent of moving out of the house. The expectation is that we will continue working on the relationship. She says that she needs the time and distance to figure things out. I continue to GAL, but I've been struggling with how to proceed with my interactions with her. I'm not sure if it is better to let go and limit contact or try and foster more regular contact and invites to go out / come over.

Well, your question got me to wondering, so I went digging in my old threads. I found this post, about the second bomb - and was shocked to discover that, holy cr@p, it has been almost a year since then! Time flies when you're having fun, eh?

Well, things have backslid a bit for me - W actually "re-bombed" me a couple of days ago. As in saying, I know you think things are going OK now, but they're not. I still feel pretty much the same way I did a year ago. Ugh.

Now, I honestly think that statement sounded much more dire than the sitch really is - the message seems to be, after a long R talk, that she thinks I have backslid and did not reach the lofty goal she had in her mind that would make me "attractive to her" again. (Never mind how great we were doing not long ago.) Lots of dumping the problems all on my head again, etc.

And I certainly have seen that she has withdrawn, inch by inch, over the last couple of months - but I attributed that to other stuff. A large part of that, I know, has been that W's work has been stressful and unfulfilling lately, and that's stirring up some of the ol' MLC feelings again. But, it would be simplistic and foolish of me to believe that was the only thing going on with her.

Which really has me pondering today, so where are we now? And what do I want to do about it? Gonna give that a little thought before my next post.

One other factor, which I should not discount. W's new job, where she has been very happy for the most part, has had a couple of small layoffs in the last month, including people who worked closely with her. So, now she is worrying about her job security a bit. I just need to keep in mind that stuff like that can cause ripples in our R, based on past experience.