Hi, Patti, only you can decide what to do. You can be like SF and just let him make his journey back as best he can. After all if you were living apart you wouldn't be intimate. He isn't missing you, but perhaps that doesn't matter.
What you do need to do is get a life for yourself, apart from your h - not in obvious 'rejecting' ways, butin joyous and fulfilling ways. Go back to school, learn to dance, learn a language. Anything that has you out there and enjoying yourself. Not focusing on your sitch.
The other thing we ALL keep on about is boundaries. What you will and will not tolerate. And do not allow those to be violated. Make them enforceable without snooping - for example you cannot police whether he has contact with OW, but you can decide how long you will tolerate her living in the apartment, and what you will do if she is there after that date. If you decide that is a boundary.
You are not a doormat. You are a loving wife who is trying to deal with a difficult and damaged spouse. Be true to yourself, and lean on God. None of us should point the finger - we have all 'allowed' bad behaviour. The fact that we are here is testament to that. If not we would all have divorced our h's by now.
Setting and enforcing boundaries for someone who thinks they are above and beyond normal conventions is tough. those of who has bought up teenagers can testify to that!!
