Patti - I second SF. You should not repraoch yourself, He has tried to come home before he is ready to work on himself. Many of them do, and as you know from the MLC resources, most of them run again at some point. He is where he wants to be, but not ready to work on himself. Whether that will come without you taking some action is anybody's guess. I don't think anyone really knows the 'best' way of dealing with a MLCer. The one thing I do know is that we HAVE to take care of ourselves, and continue to grow. It is the greatest mark of respect that I can give to my former happy marriage - to continue to strive to be the best person I can be.
In the bible we are commanded to be good stewards of our resources. All you can do at this stage is what the rest of us are trying to do - get on with your life, with no expectations of your h. He is moving along in his own way. You probably feel that if you threw him out he would go back to the OW, perhaps he would, but he hasn't actually 'got over' her yet anyway. He needs to do that, and only he can do it.
BND was also right - clear boundaries, and enforce them. I don't feel that MLC is a reason for them to be abusive, and I think that infidelity is a form of abuse, a lack of respect for us.
