It is hard to get back together with the same old man as before. New is exciting. Same old is, well, comfortable. I used to say that healing my marriage was like getting the same old husband as the prize in a cracker jack box. But that doesn't mean it's all bad. In fact, in the end, it was my choice, and he is what I want. But I had to look inside me and figure that out. Retrouvaille helped a lot with that. It helped me to see the man I fell in love with yikes! 30 years ago. Not the grumpy man I was living with, no, I saw the one with stars in his eyes and fire in his belly. And I fell in love all over again. This time I didn't love him for what might be, for the beautiful children we might have, for the business success he become. I realized that I loved him despite the dreams that didn't quite turn out the way I planned, and for the family that we do have, with the problems and the laughs and the obstacles we face. There isn't a perfect life out there. Everyone has trouble, and it does make us stronger. In a way, I do feel sorry for the women I meet who took it easy, and had it easy all their lives. Their lives seem so empty. I am proud of the challenges that we met head on, the way we rolled with the punches. Not always together, often pulling apart when things were really tough. But there is a dignity in our being together with all the battlescars of our lives together. And that is irreplaceable with someone else. My kids are all nearly grown now -- 24, 22 and 19. When we get together for a meal and laugh about their childhoods, I know that no one belongs at that table but the 5 of us. We are family. It's a different kind of love.
