Wow, I really feel for you and your son. What a mess. My situation is a walk in the park compared to yours, so I commend you for being strong for yourself and your son. That is exactly where to focus right now. What does it matter where her anger comes from? What matters is her anger, and it's her issue to deal with. You can't fix it for her. Either she will fix it herself, at some point (you don't know when), or she won't. You will decide how long you are willing to wait, but that anger is her stuff to own. It only concerns you if she continues to abuse your son or attack you. Detach even more. You are doing well; keep it up and keep asking what you need to learn from this.
