Has he given you an indication that he is going to File?
H had talked in the past about filing after we sell our house. When he was obsessed with the OW early this year & living at home he was working on the house quite a bit, esp. every time we had a fight. He slowed down around Feb. just working on the house occasionally. The last month or two he hasn't really worked on the house at all (maybe b/c I've lost a lot of weight and been hardcore DBing), and I think he still would want to sell the house before filing for the little bit of extra cash it would bring. He hasn't really been talking about divorce lately, but also no plans of moving back, so I think he intends to file eventually, but he seems not to be in a rush about it. He has been spending more time here with the kids & wants to take them Sat. night so I think things may have cooled down with the OW, but I still think he is with her to some extent.
If I thought he would reconsider filing and at some point be interested in the marriage again or working on it, I wouldn't want to file, but I really have not had any indication that he would reconsider. I read everyone else's posts and they all seem much more hopeful than mine, most H's seem to at least consider returning to the marriage even if they waver.
I guess I feel stupid just holding on to a marriage that will probably end anyway eventually; and if that's the case I would rather just file myself and not wait 3 months or 6 months or a year or whatever. I have just started thinking about this today, so obviously I don't have to rush anything, but I guess I am getting tired of the limbo I'm living in and not having a relationship which I could probably have if I was divorced. I guess I'm either getting weaker or stronger I can't figure it out!!! I have to wonder why he doesn't file; I guess b/c of the house but he hasn't been working on that either so who knows? I do think he is in MLC in the 3rd or 4th stage or both so maybe he doesn't even know what he wants?!? I kind of wonder if my DBing and doing so great lately is just going to delay the divorce rather than prevent it, and not really sure if that's what I want to do, drag this out for a long time. Karen
I have to wonder why he doesn't file; I guess b/c of the house but he hasn't been working on that either so who knows? I do think he is in MLC in the 3rd or 4th stage or both so maybe he doesn't even know what he wants?!? I kind of wonder if my DBing and doing so great lately is just going to delay the divorce rather than prevent it, and not really sure if that's what I want to do, drag this out for a long time. Karen
