I am glad you woke up feeling better today, it happened to me last week and I can tell you that I am feeling much better about things since that day.
The more I think about your session tomorrow the more I think this is the way to approach it. Our W's are expecting us to fight them on things, which only makes them angrier, I have come to realize this is a game with them, they want to win the game. My W even told me that the reason I am so upset is because I am not winning the game, that I am only doing things for myself to get back in the house so I will WIN. What this tells me is if she really feels this way, I am going to let her, that means I have to totally detach and not put any pressure whatsoever on her, she will have to make the call of when the "game" is over so she will be the winner, not me. I have completely stopped all R talks with her, I am acting "as if", the only way I will save my M if she comes out the VICTOR and makes the calls of when the time is right. I have a feeling you are in the same boat as I am and probably most everyone on these boards.
This is a sick game were having to play but in relationships that you are in that you are considered the controlling person as I was, the WAS has to take control and call the shots for a while and make their calls the way they see fit. My W even told me one time that the main reason I am so upset over this mess is because I have lost control. She wants to be in control right now and she is, I just have to live with it and see where it goes.
Good luck tomorrow, I really feel this is the way you need to approach it, let her see that she is winning the game and you are ready to play the game with her the way she sees fit.
Ping--Do you know my MC?? The exercise for today was--how to move on and be friends after the D..no joke, floored me when the MC told me. You must have a crystal ball.
Problem was-W was a no show. MC said to call W. Called and got VM, left a msg. W called me back and said she forgot. W apologized to me so I take her for her word.
MC noticed a change in me immediately. Said I looked like I was at peace. I had another good day today, I woke up relaxed and peaceful. I don't know why I feel this way. I have a lot of people praying for me and maybe that's it. Had a good discussion with the MC. Made another appointment for next week, the MC made another appointment card for my W and I left it on her pocketbook. I told her she could come if she wanted, it was up to her. When I got home W apologized again and asked me what the MC and me talked about. I told her what the exercise was for today in a very happy tone. Then I told her that because she had missed we had to just talk about all my communication problems and how and what I was feeling and left it at that. One think the MC said sort of stuck out for me...MC says that when the W receives my response to the D papers that my W may just wake up and slow things down..my response to the D papers is 50/50 visitation..it's not negotiable as far as I am concerned. Being a mother is so important to my W if she sees she may lose 50% of her time with D then she may rethink what she is doing..MC believes this anyway.
2 good days in a row with W. We took the D across the street to the pond and we fished..chit chatted about our days.
Ping-it would have worked I think. I'm sure that if my W shows up next week that the MC will do this exercise...that is unless my response is delivered to W before then..if they get delivered then I'm afraid it will be hellfire and damnation for me from my W.
I don't know what to tell her, little girls need their daddy's too. There's no reason why I should not have 50/50 visitation. I work straight days and so does my W. D is in daycare while we work.
By the way...I have found out that my W has been snooping on the very computer that I have been using to post on this site..I know this for a fact. She has heard me typing away and she did a through search of this very computer today....Do u think she thinks I am having an affair??? or she's searching for something to use against me in the D proceedings??
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 04/24/0811:55 PM.
