Was going to lunch with the "boys" from work. And seriouslly they are boys one is 24 about to get married, the other only 26....they are like my "sons" and my friends.
Anyway- one of htem wanted a steak so we thought Outback may have a lunch menu--well they were closed, so we decided ok lets head to Chilis. .... wellllllllllll H's work is about 5 minutes from where I work and in the past 6 months we have NEVER crossed paths....but today oh oh oh it was so close. Friend 24 went to park and i happened to turn my head and saw H's car. Now remember he has a dealer plate and I know teh car he is driving so it was real easy to spot...I was like "oh crap." they were like "what" I said..he is here..they got their "brother chest out..." you know the ones that every girl wants when their boyfriend hurt them and the brother is going to beat them up.. =) ANYWAY I said he is here. They said..."So...what do you want to do" I aws like crap...then said ok ok lets go in ..then tehy were like no...and my heart rate was all high and it was just plain freakin' WIERD!!!
then friend 26 says..Cagzmom when it is all said and done and things are signed and stuff...do you think you will be done? I said why are you sick of hearing about it? he said no....i was just wondering..then he said how long has he been gone and i said its been a year.. I said do you think I should be over it by now?? he said...a year? no...you were married a really long time..... i said i want to be over it --- and that is alot further than I was a year ago.
I know this-- a year from today I do not want to have my heart rate go up when I see the sob. and I know that i dont want to be obsessing over ow or him anymore....I want my life back
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
