My H's primary LL is WOA also. I do compliment and praise him, but for whatever reason he doesn't think it is sincere. I think this is partially because I didn't do it in the beginning of our R. I began to pick up on the fact that it was important to him so I started doing it. I think he thinks I only compliment him because he compliments me A LOT. I also think this is how OW hooked him...WOA overload. He felt it was more sincere from her than me...even said I did it because I HAVE to. Not true. So how do I let him know I am sincere?
Damn good question. For some reason, my H also doesn't always seem to think I'm sincere and I am at a loss as to whether it is because of how I say it or how he perceives it. I used to be very free with my compliments to him, but as the years passed I didn't give as many spontaneous compliments. This is something I have to work on, but I really need to make sure he believes I am sincere, and I am at a loss how to do that.
I think it has to sound natural, and be combined with a smile, eye contact, open body language. Other than that...I'm at a loss unfortunately.
Perhaps H perceives your WOA as insincere because he had to tell you that he wasn't getting enough compliments/praise/appreciation from you, like my H told me. He felt he shouldn't have to say anything, that I should've already known. Ugh, there's that mindreading thing again.
Let's forget about telling our Hs how much me appreciate and admire them for a sec and think about how we can SHOW them this.
For me, I had to let my frustrations (and stubbornness ) go and get to work. My H's LLs are WOA and AOS. Yes, he likes to hear that I love him, but he wants to see that I do as well. If I didn't back up my words with actions, then he didn't believe my WOA were genuine.
Kind of like DBing, eh?.....Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see.
So start brainstorming, ladies.
What can you do to SHOW your Hs just how much you value them?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
LOL
) go and get to work. My H's LLs are WOA and AOS. Yes, he likes to hear that I love him, but he wants to see that I do as well. If I didn't back up my words with actions, then he didn't believe my WOA were genuine.
