Alright, just wanted to journal about some things you said on your thread Michelle that caught my attention.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
Deep in my gut, I am very worried that he is going to go chasing that endorphin high again and get another OW and another and another and be just like his father and never realize what it takes to stay in a long-term R.
Ok, this has been bugging me about my H too. He is just like your's when it comes to happiness. He is always looking for that high....even in small things. I mean he is a salesman's dream....all you have to do is put NEW on it...and he buys it. Anyway, my thing is that he gets tired of things easily: video games, computers, car, and apparently me. I even brought this up in our convo the other night. He said "what does that tell you about me?" I said "that you are constantly grasping for happiness" He said..."and what does that mean?" I said "It means that you aren't happy and you are looking for material things to make you happy or you are always looking for something new or different to give you that high." He acknowledged that was true, he just doesn't know what to do about it, which is why I think he needs to see a counselor. He has even said that OW was "just something different". Never said he loved her or had feelings for her..."just something different"
Originally Posted By: GoingForward
Have you ever tried being "spontaneous" with him? Like an unexpected visit or a preplanned, surprise activity? Something he might find to be thrilling?
I think I should try this. My H even mentioned that I wasn't spontaneous and that bugged him. His words were that I am too responsible. I am going to try this.
Quote:
I have been trying to work in lots of praise, and am working on the flirting a bit. This is exactly the reason I say WOA is his primary - when he feels like the compliments are sincere, his reaction is so warm!
My H's primary LL is WOA also. I do compliment and praise him, but for whatever reason he doesn't think it is sincere. I think this is partially because I didn't do it in the beginning of our R. I began to pick up on the fact that it was important to him so I started doing it. I think he thinks I only compliment him because he compliments me A LOT. I also think this is how OW hooked him...WOA overload. He felt it was more sincere from her than me...even said I did it because I HAVE to. Not true. So how do I let him know I am sincere?
