Supermom and the Brighter Tomorrow

[JennyF]

girlfromipanema,
Love your name by the way...I sing the song every time I read it!
I meant to reply to your post the other day.
Thank you for your kind words.
It's funny because a lot of the time through this whole thing when I get really down about things, it does help to remind myself that there is always someone else out there who has it worse off than I do and there are always blessings to be counted no matter what the sitch.


Tomorrow is H's first overnight with S. Tomorrow is also his 6 month b-day. I can't believe it? 6 months already. My first thread was entitled...."2 wk old and 2 1/2 yr old...H gone". Now he's 6 mths. Crazy. God only knows where I'll be 6 months from now.
So my day tomorrow?? No wallowing for me!
I have a yoga class at 10AM right after H picks up S. Then after groceries and some house cleaning (which for some crazy reason I'm excited about) I have a pedicure at 5PM. THEN...the girls are coming to my house for wine and appy's and we're hitting the town!!
The kids will be coming home early on Sunday morning too so it won't be too bad. Although I better make sure I don't have too much of a hangover!!!
Well I better get some sleep, I want to be well rested!
J~

[redhottie]

Hi Jenny,
Sorry I havn't been keeping up with you. My H has decided he is done trying. (I missed the part where he tried.) So after 10 months of me trying we are headed for a D. Not what I want, but I don't want to live like this anymore. I hope you enjoy your day, sounds like it will be good for you.

Lizzy

[blindsided1]

Just checking to see how you are doing. You were missing in action this weekend, but so was I, for the most part. Hope all is well with you.

[W2G]

Hello Neighbor,

Hope you had an awesome time out with your gf's this weekend! Check in when you can!

Hugs,
W2G

[smith18]

Hi Jenny -

I hope things are going well for you.

BTW... I have visited Toronto (for work) about 5 times back in the early 1990's when the Blue Jay's were the kings of baseball and I thought it was a great city to live (except for the cold winters).

[blindsided1]

What's going on with your sitch. Thanks for posting on mine, but I was wondering how you were doing?

[JennyF]

Kerry...yeah, I just happened to be downtown for one of those World Series wins, it was great!

Blindsided...thanks for checking in.

H came today to pack his stuff and tomorrow he moves it out and into his new house with CFB (OW). I've been quite emotional today...I didn't even really feel it coming on and then I woke up at 5AM to feed S and couldn't get back to sleep. I've been crying a lot which I haven't done in weeks. I guess the reality is hitting me and it sucks.
I'm also a bit emotional because next weekend is H's best friends b-day party. I'm not going (wasn't really invited). H is going and bringing her. I'm hurt by it because I would love to go and celebrate with him but now I can't.

I went to look at the house today that is on my best friends street. I love it. It is perfect for me and the kids.
I have an appmt at the bank on Monday and with my lawyer on Tuesday to figure out what my options are. I'm letting the chips fall where they may on this one. If the timing works out for this house with the financial decisions, then great. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. I'm not making any hasty decisions....but I do love the house. And it is only up the street from my best friends and their kids are the exactly same age as mine. My D would love to live that close them and I think it would help with her transition out of this house.

I'm just sad today. H and I had an ok conversation when he left today with S. He was asking me about family and stuff. He called and asked my step dad to go the annual golf tournament that he always goes to. It's with a lot friends, so it isn't just H that will be there but I thought it was a nice gesture.
I find it harder when he's acting like his old self and talking to me normal. It feels too normal. In some ways though in the back of my head I still think that if we can just keep up with that....even for the next 6 months that eventually he's going to start to realize we still have a connection. But then I don't know if I even want him back. Even though I'm totally focused on myself and am making my plans for my future (and feeling good about to be honest!), I still have that feeling deep in heart that it isn't over between us. I don't know why.

Anyway...we're going down this road regardless so tomorrow begins the "living with OW" stage. I hope it's a short one.
J~

[blindsided1]

I've been in the "living with OW" stage since day one. I'm sorry you have to go through it. It's not fun. But, luckily, you are way ahead of the game and are very strong. The inital shock of it all will subside and you'll be just fine. I know it. At least you don't have the "engagement ring" and "M talk" stage that I'm going through. It's terribly hard to believe that it has progressed this far, this fast and our D isn't even born yet. He's a real piece of work. I'll just leave it at that.

[blindsided1]

How are you Jenny. Wanted to see how you are feeling and how things are going for you. Check in when you can.

[JennyF]

Hi blindsided...thanks for checking in on me!
I haven't been posting much...but I check in now and then.

H has D & S overnight tonight for the first time at his new place. I've been really feeling a lot of emotion again...his R with OW is so real and so 'normal' now and it's hard. Everything is 'them' now...including my kids and it drives me nuts.
But...when I start to feel like this and it can get overwhelming I just remind myself that my kids need time with their Dad. They're safe and they're happy...that's what matters.

I met at the bank today and found out that I can qualify for this house I want on my own. It would be tight, especially depending on how all the financial doc's shake out. But we'll see. I really want this house bad. It would make the transition of leaving this house so much easier for her if we lived on the same street as her best friend!
There is a lot going on right now and I can't make a decision on the house until I know where I stand financially. Tomorrow I meet with my lawyer to see where we are in the process.
On top of that my house isn't even on the market yet. I'm going to get it ready over the next week.

So needless to say a lot of stars have to line up for this to work out before the house I want sells. But I figure I'm store for some good karma so why not? I'm just going to take my time going through the process to ensure I'm making the best decisions possible and if the house is still available when it's right...perfect. If not it wasn't meant to be....but man I want that house!

Other than that I'm keeping busy still consulting for the Yoga Studio...I'm loving the classes.

One interesting thing...last week my brother and his wufe almost separated. He wanted to leave her. Seriously. After 10 years and one son.
They aren't actually separated but are going through a really bad time and brother isn't sure he wants to continue with the M. I think he was at the very beginning of a EA and it got caught just in time. I told him that after what I just went through (and am going through) that I would kill him if he ever did that. I told him he is where my H was a year and half ago and he needs to own his decisions from here on out. I told him I would give anything to be where he is right now and he better work on himself.
SIL is taking some of the blame for being a colossol bitch for the last 5 years...she's had quite a personal epiphany too and is back pedalling now trying to save her M.
I think I have to tell her to come here...but I don't know if I want her reading through all my threads from the last 6 months. I don't know.

Well, I gotta go. Off to a friends for dinner.
J~