Ingrid - I followed a bunch of folks over to another site b/c I was only posting on SSM and they all left. I didn't post at that site for a while either b/c of all the trauma with my sister. Then, I felt the urge to come looking for you. I wouldn't mind posting in both places, but I'm not sure where I belong here (I actually don't think it is SSM). Is piecing only if there is an OW? I read DB, but ages ago and don't remember.
I can feel how much you are struggling. Do try to keep yourself strong and healthy so that you can make decisions and actions from a grounded place.
I like what Deaxlie said about not going back to the same M. In my M, we both need to make changes - but I'm not sure H has accepted that. Another reason I'm doing "nothing" at the moment, and surprisingly he has made small offers, i.e. to get home in time so I can do something with a friend one night.
In addition to this book I mentioned, I've been reading a lot about positive thinking, and how negative thoughts invite negativity into your life and positive thoughts invite positivity. I definitely get caught up in my H's moodiness and negativity, which is not the real "me." To the extent you can, try to stay positive and picture the life you want with H - it will help you to get there.
