I no longer bite to any negative comment I am totally spending time with my boys. I was anyway, but now it's every single spare second I get I no longer sit on pc playing poker every night il whatever a clock I am going out more, at least once a week for definite, usually 2 or 3 times I have bought some new clothes and looking after myself better. Never more than 2 days without shaving, always putting on aftershave, always doing my hair (which I've had cut short and tidy again).
Seriously, I'm a nice guy and I know it, wouldn't hurt anyone and would help anyone if I could, so personality wise I don't think I'm a bad person. As far as W and relationship goes tho, I've not really been 'me' at home for a long time.
Since this happened I feel a big weight lifted. i'm no longer walking on eggshells trying to make sure everything I do my wife is ok with. I kinda felt like she treated me like another son, a childminder, a housekeeper, but I no longer let that happen.
I do feel much better in myself until the knots and anxiety and paranoia creep in.
I'm also thinking along the lines of if you love someone enough, let them go and I may even yet say that to my W. I might have to at C when that starts as she will go in there saying it's over, so what can I do to avoid sounding clingy but that.
My W has also had depression for a long time, to throw that in the mix (and that was tough to live with as it was) with a MLC and jesus it's tough.
I am not religious at all, but my parents are and I do now say prayers, but more for my kids than me as seems hypercritical.
I get a little frustrated with this as this site has so much information that you imagine, if read by W, would make her think differently, but it's not the way.
I know i struggle with the patience factor, but then don't we all ? I will re evaluate every week or so and the next 2 months I feel will be critical for that.
I do also think that my W has been unhappy for a long time so any changes I make she will need to witness for sometime to accept they are for good.
Only time will tell I guess, so will just try and take 1 day at a time.
