Buddy, I heard it was time for me to stroll through your neck of the woods a bit.
Some encouragement here:
You already know that none of it is worth crap if you can't find you. Not saying a drastic change has to happen anywhere, but that you need to look at yourself with some fresh eyes buddy.
Let's put it this way, I know just how long you've been hanging in here, and some of the downright bizarre things that have brought you to this point, as well as some of the not so bizarre. So, reach back to that last enchilada of happiness, true happiness, you recognized. Time to fire up the stove, pull out the tortillas, and seize for yourself the ingredients to cook one of them thar bad boys up pronto.
I may get hammered for adding this part in, but . . . you gotta find that, job, marriage, baseball, and weather be d@mned.