Gosh DMB, I'm hoping I'm getting towards the point you are at. She's just started responding some, but is still pretty angry. I replied to your post to me, but I'm not getting the transparency thing either. She really thinks that secrecy in a marriage is ok because without it, she's not INDEPENDENT/FREE which to her it seems more important than her family/marriage.

Hope4us

Me - 49, W 49
S22 & S18
Dday 9/4/07
W claims NC 4/7/08
8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.