Kissak...he KNOWS what he needs to do in order to win you back...but he doesn't want to put his "cake" down to do it...and I agree with darboyd5 that he is keeping you on string by trying to get you to talk to him...he is playing with your emotions...this is not what you do when you love someone and want them back...this is what you do when you want your cake and eat it too!
Personally, I think I would answer the phone and not let him talk...but tell him no uncertain terms, "I am done playing your foolish game...actually each time you yank me around it makes me a little more done then before...I told you that until you know WHO you want to be with I don't want to talk to you...if you choose OW then I will be the mother of your children and that is IT!...If you choose me well then YOU have some work to do to win me back but if OW pops up just once....that is the last nail in the casket...now if you don't mind I would like you to respect my privacy and leave me alone to heal."
This might be more then he can comprehend...but I would at the bare minimum tell him that if he cares and respects you at all he will leave you alone...as long as there is the OW there is NO PLACE FOR YOU in his life...you don't want it!
Your are strong...you have come a long way...your H unfortunately is still playing the game with you and OW...so sad that she doesn't see it...I can agree with you on the trust issues...the more he does this the less you feel that you will ever be able to trust him again...my H didn't play these games but I can imagine the feelings if he did...and I can pretty much say that I might not have been around when he came out of "it"...
take care of you and the kids...your a good mom and that is priceless!
