I start talking about D and R almost without thinking.
you absolutely have to stop bringing that stuff up. I did that at the very first few weeks of separation. But stopped. You must consider what the benefit will be. And it's zippo. Do you actually think you will convince her to change her mind by some astounding comment? It would be just like talking to her best friend to get the friend to convince her to do something different. That just isn't going to work. It is pursuing and can be needy. I actually think it makes us look weak also. I tell myself often that I must be stronger than her. I do not get the pecks and hold hands so I think you just need to be happy with where you are at and remember she's the captain of this boat ride. Don't rock the boat with D talk. Why bring up what you don't want. Just validates her feelings of wanting the D You have to stop that.
Having said all that, and hope not a rant, you are doing well. I have not held hands or had a kiss from my W in 8 months. Be happy...just don't expect so much, and enjoy your pool party. Just act "as if". You will be fine. Heck, like I said before she went to watch the show with you. That is great. Enjoy all your time together.
